Escort reviews – what do you think of them? Just finished writing your 100th? Enjoy reading them? Loathe them entirely? Indifferent?
Reviews are funny things and Lisa and I have always been in two camps when it comes to them. She loves to see the agency and the girls receiving them and appreciates the positives they may bring. She also enjoys the online banter in the various forums and chat rooms. I, on the other hand, can’t help but get mildly irritated by the whole escort review thing in general.
Now, me being irritated is not that unusual – many things irk me: elderly drivers, pregnant women that smoke, the lack of snow in Bristol at the moment, my mum……oh God, how long have you got? But yeah, some escort reviewers can and do get my goat. I put this down to one reason only: the status a few of these guys think reviewing gives them.
Every now and then I will receive an email from a potential client that starts something along the lines of ‘Hi, my name is Gustav and I am a reviewer over at <insert website name here>.’ Oh you are?! Well wait just one minute while I roll out the red carpet! They then rattle out their list of demands: ‘I require a young blonde English girl, 5ft 5 (no taller, no shorter) with large breasts who loves OWO, CIM, Swallow and A levels (multiple times), who will turn up wearing <insert ludicrous outfit here>, who can play piano while standing on her head and dildoing her own ear.’ I grit my teeth… ‘I know you say your last booking start time is 10pm, but I would like the girl to turn up at 2am. What is the best price you can do for me?’
Notice I said a few. It is, mercifully, only a small percentage I find conduct themselves in this way. Most guys have the sense to realise that writing a review does not bring you special privileges. And while Lisa and I always try to accommodate reasonable requests, we will never push a lady’s limits or boundaries because of someone’s website login credentials.
Unsurprisingly, the only company Gustav got that night was from the Viagra, Cialis and meds distributors who also found their way to my recycle bin. But we do have quite a few good clients who write the odd review here and there. These guys never bother to tell the agency they’ve done it – the reviews are written for the benefit of the punting community and because they thoroughly enjoyed the girl’s company. They are not written to leverage services and freebies. Despite these good eggs, I can’t shake the bad few out of my head. Bah, tainted love.
And while I am blogging on this subject, changing tack slightly, I thought I would refer you over to Emily Jones’s blog. She wrote her feelings down a while back after discovering a couple of crappy reviews online (never nice for someone who makes an effort at the job). My standout quote:
I don’t like it when a guy is merely waiting for the first ‘no’ or first falter in my Regulation Pep attitude because he gets off writing scathing reviews more than he does engaging in joyously fun sex with an enthusiastic young woman.
Probably one of my favourite escort blog posts to date. Read it: http://www.emily-jones.co.uk/2010/04/guh/ And if it applies to you, reassess!
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